HADER ON ICE

HADER ON ICE

"It's always something. Either my feet fall asleep. Or they itch. Then I can't breathe again when I walk faster. Or I break out in a sweat. Then I get cold again. Food doesn't taste good, sex is boring, pants are too tight. What is that, please? - It must all be this climate change, right? Temperatures in summer are like in the tropics! All of a sudden there are these huge insects! They didn't exist before! If they bite you, you get a swelling that doesn't go away for months! They're probably all genetically modified. And the plants! They're already getting stupid. They're crazy, the plants! They're overgrowing everything now! Since I've never left the house. My theory is that the plants want to take back control of the planet. They're all connected to each other underground via their roots. Worldwide! The plants have a secret plan. They want the total destruction of Western culture and Austrian folk rock'n roll. It's all to be replaced by, er, photosynthesis."